Zu-Zu Land Safari

The Characters

    Peter Constantin : Little Dave
    4 Students : Richard, Alexandra, Tullia, Priya
    Gautam Iyer : Longo

The Script

[Lights up on classroom, students waiting for Professor, talking.]

S1: Man, did you get spanked by that midterm too?

S4: Yeah, I got totally hosed! I bet everyone did, eh?

S3: Actually, I did fine...

S2: Me too, I mean you just had to use a few inequalities.

S1: [Shaking head] I guess I just don't know what an inequality is for...

[Professor Constantin enters the classroom in full safari outfit with Gautam following behind looking subserviant.]

S3: Professor Constantin? Why are you dressed like the Crocidile Hunter?

PC: Because today we are leaving our familar world of inequalities and intergrals. [Gets far away visionary look] Today, [walks towards the side of the stage and GI follows] we are going to Zu-Zu

All: [Slight gasp]

S1: [With awe and excitment] Zu-Zu land!

S3: [With awe and excitment] Zu-Zu land!

S2: [With awe] Zu-Zu land!

GI: It's only a model...

PC: Shh!

All: [Singing Verse 1 of the dance]

    Oh, here we are in Zu-Zu Land,
    We make bold claims and we wave our hands.
    Where softness rules with silken hand,
    We do more maths than we had planned.

S2: Oh my God! What's this?

S4: Eh?

S2: What's this?

PC: It's a Frechet Space.

GI: Oh, that's awesome! I've seen one of these before.

S1: Is it safe to touch?

PC: Yeah sure. It's just a locally convex F-space.

S3: Can we apply Holder's inequality?

PC: Don't be silly - this is Zu-Zu Land!...

All: [Singing Verse 2 of the dance]

    Oh, here we are in Zu-Zu Land,
    We make bold claims and we wave our hands.
    With time and patience we hope to find,
    Machinery to to ease our minds.

S4: Oh wow, this is beautiful, eh?

GI: Oh yes, Zu-Zu Land is full of beautiful mathematics, but be careful though - it's a pain in the arse.

S2: What is it?

PC: Hmm, I'm not sure - but it clearly has the Heine-Borel property. Maybe I'll put it in the final.

S1: Oh no! I'm screwed!

S2: Don't worry. As long as it's dimensionally correct he'll give you the points.

S4: Eh?

All: [Singing Verse 3 of the dance]

    Oh, here we are in Zu-Zu Land,
    We make bold claims and we wave our hands.
    It's like a break from the daily grind,
    To leave that hard maths far behind.

PC: On second thoughts lets not go to Zu-Zu Land. It's a silly place.

All: [Singing] In Zu-Zu Land!